Mood: Bored
Listening to: Nymphetimine: Cradle Of Filth
Reading: Wayfarer Redemption v.2 by Sara Douglas
Watching: Million Dollar Baby

Just thought I should put up a new journal.... Nothing new going on, just preparing my web business and classes and working alot as usual doing lots of art, but due to un-cooperative scanner wont be able to upload till later this week.

A Hopeless one Dreams....

Mood: Bored
Listening to: Nymphetimine: Cradle Of Filth
Reading: Wayfarer Redemption v.2 by Sara Douglas
Watching: Million Dollar Baby

Somedays I wish a god to strike me. To cast me down and burry me.
Somedays I wish a storm to swallow me, to burry me and drown me.
Somedays I wish for change and know it can never be.
Somedays I am not here, I am not here.

I cant help but feel alone in this world, lacking that something I know I had before,
I cant help but feel cold inside and hollow sounding
I cant help but feel the bitterness welling up inside me from the pits of hell that is my soul.
I cant help but feel sad at times though I know I have no reason.

I have so much to give this world, if only I had the means on how.
I have so much to love in this world and still I see the sadness.
I have so much life inside me, so much it burns me.

Does it ever feel like Deju Vu to you? Does it ever feel familiar? Theres something that trys to reach out to me coming from the base of my soul, coming from the depths of my dark mind. I wish I could see that world for what it is, be what I am and know I should be. Why is it I am sad when I have so much love and beauty around me, why is it that I have no reason to be but still am? Do I love the sadness, ache for those tears which have long been dried up. Cling to that past of those I have lost, those I have long faught for and have gone. Why do I not understand the means? Why am I so neive to reality? Why am I me? I know these feelings or remourse for what I don’t know, will pass as they always do, but why is it that when they flood my thoughts my soul my body that I become more passionate then I ever have been before? Why do I yearn to feel the sweetness of his breath upon me, his touch that shudders through my waking veins….as if my soul has never awoken? Why do I love like I never have before, To touch and to hear and to feel why do I want it sooo much? Cling to this mysterious man in my sleep that I know I have seen before? Why can I not see him now? Where has he gone to? Why do I have so many questions? lol

Yea!!!! Full Subscription For me Yea!!!

Mood: Giddy
Listening to: Nymphetimine: Cradle Of Filth
Reading: Wayfarer Redemption v.2 by Sara Douglas
Watching: Hostage

So I finally got a full subscription alomg with a print subsription too.... which is awesome! Also I am moving for sure only thing is that they gave away my spot (the apt i was going to move into) so now I got bumped back to Augest before I can move. But atleast that gives more time to save up more money and for packing...though i dont have much left to pack....either way im excited i get to move in with my sis.... and im selling art work and i might be getting a car this fall too!!! yea!!! I just have to figure out how to pick it up(the one i want is in IL).

I just bought 2 prints for my asian wall and the other for my bedroom.... they are:
[link]
and
[link]
im trying to buy suzi9mm's Japan86 to match the other one i just bought...I think they will look great together on my wall of samarai swords.... just gotta figure out how to frame it

So that free weeks subsription that I got from deviant art is now up I suppose thats why they give away such things....damn teasers... so now I will have to get a subscription FOR SURE.... i think i shall this weekend (would sooner but i only have me 10 dollars) so I gotta wait a few days yet.

i got lots of artwork done at home, and due to the fact the scanner is down i cant submit for a little while longer. none the less its still a work in progress... my website is coming along... prbly will be about a month before im ready to publish that. On another note i have been witness to truck balls...if any of you know what that is then u understand otherwise it can not be explained.
Ok, well I shall get back to work, since thats where im at and all.